The Planning Edition: Should I Invite Children to our Wedding?

Over my time as a wedding planner I have been frequently asked should I invite children to me wedding?
Unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer to this.

Here is how I suggest that you make a list - this list requires an open mind, honesty and compromise.

The first thing to do is to determine how many children and the ages they will be on your wedding day.

The next bit sounds harsh and you probably won't find this in many other peoples lists. How well behaved are they? Be honest between you both- it needs to go no further than this list.

Then make two guest lists - one with children and one without. See the difference. How significant is that number?

Who are the children - are they family / friends? Are they more on one side than another?

Do you have children yourself? Can you limit the children you invite to just family?

If there are a large number of young children then you may need to consider hiring some childminders or some form of entertainment. Which of course not only adds the cost of catering but also entertainment.

If there are a large number of babies then this will not impact your budget to heavily as they don't require food.

Is your reception safe for children to play? You would need to make all parents aware of things list stairs, water, roads, breakables and the like.

If you have a lot of children then you need to factor in their eating times - children need to eat often and earlier than us - can you make this work.

How do you think the parents would feel about you not inviting their children, would they have someone who could mind their children whilst they are at your wedding? Is your wedding close by so they could run home if needed? Consider each set of parents individually - see what your predictions are.

Then here comes the maths - work out the number of children and their cost - factor in their ages. Do some research as to child minders / creche / children entertainment and factor that in. Make two budget lists - with and without children.

This should now be forming a pattern and be drawing up an accurate costing - does this help you make your decision?

If you are still incredibly torn then the only other suggestion I have is to speak to a parent that you feel will listen to your concerns and see what their opinion is.

The people who tend to ask are those who don't have children themselves - as you would expect. So the question from their perspective is more like "how do I tell people their children are not invited"

There is no set line that I would recommend using. I would suggest staying firm and not making exceptions - you both need to be on the same page with this. If you ever feel like giving in then it will impact your budget and also it could cause great upset on the day when some are there and others aren't.


A huge factor to remember is that its your money and it is incredibly expensive to get married these days.
Most people will also be hugely grateful to be a part of your special day so will be over the moon at the invitation. Plus - who knows, some parents may even be grateful of the day off to enjoy themselves.

I hope this is helpful to you - let me know how you get on blissweddings@outlook.com

Love Katie. x

The Planning Edition : How to have a stress free Wedding Morning

This is something which in principal sounds completely do-able not to mention amazing. But this i am afraid is easier said than done.

During my days as a Wedding Planner I have seen first hand the full spectrum of wedding mornings. From the calm and quiet to the frantic and crazy. I can now also draw on my own experience so let me tell you my story first of all.

My Wedding Morning

I had a rather late night with falling asleep in exhaustion on the floor beside my dress in my parents living room. After I went to bed at around 2am, I woke at 7.20 ran downstairs and shed my first tears of the day with my Mum- I literally couldn't believe it was finally here and the tears I think were of relief that it was upon me. I had waited ten years for this day. A quick shower later and a brew in hand the team of hair and make-up artists arrived at 8am and got straight to work on my hair.

Admittedly, there was a lot going on at my mum's house - by 9am there was Me, my Sister, my Parents, the two hair and make-up people, two bridesmaids. By 10am there were flower deliveries, phone calls from my mum to the Groom checking he is ok (and awake), by 11am there were 2 other bridesmaids and my auntie, plus our photographer. I didn't want anyone to see my dress really so I had to keep them out of the living room!

Despite all these people I did feel calm, the house had a lovely buzz to it and it was just how I always thought it would be. I think if it wasn't like this I would have had too many tears and I didn't want that.
We did have a slight situation shall we say when one of my Bridesmaids dresses split down the side. Luckily there was enough people to fix it but it did have a knock on effect as I was late getting in my dress and then late for church - whooops.

I totally enjoyed my last few hours as well, me; the person who I had always been. I felt like I was going through a transition and although that scared me a little - that I wouldn't be the same as my parents anymore; I was completely ready to become the new me.

So my advice for a stress-free wedding morning...

The Night Before

Try to unwind as much as possible, have a night in watching a movie with a glass of wine, have a nice bath, have a girly sleepover or simply read a good book.

Go to bed at a decent hour. It could go one of two ways you trying to get to sleep, you could be so tired from the build up that you are out like a light OR you could close your eyes and say to yourself "Guess what, I am getting married in the morning" and be awake tormenting yourself all night.

Lay everything out in the night before - this is so that you can find out if you have misplaced something whilst you have time to rectify it.



The Morning

Really think about who and what should arrive when - not only should you have all of these things sorted in advance you really do need to keep things staggered so its not all happening at once. This is where your timeline is very important - everyone should know where they should be and what they should be doing.

There is nothing wrong in being military - no matter how early or late your ceremony is.

Breakfast - it is so important to eat in the morning, no matter how nervous you feel. If you think that you won't get chance to eat or drink anything until your wedding breakfast that is a long long time. Adrenalin will only get you so far!

Bubbles - don't get carried away! No-one wants a tipsy bride, least of all the officiant as they don't have to marry you. Plus you don't want to keep needing the toilet and having to navigate your dress.

Look in the mirror and admire yourself - appreciate the hard work that you have put in to today, creating your look and style, look at your gorgeous dress! You have waited for this moment- enjoy it.

Take a few minutes to compose yourself before you leave for the service. These are your final moments as "you" before you embark on one of the biggest moments of your life. Its the start of your happy ever after - take a deep breath and lets get married!


Hopefully you enjoyed today's post and found it useful.

Love
Katie. x

The Planning Edition: Choosing your Groomsmen

For the large part this is your soon to be husbands job; however you need to get this outlined before after a few beers on a Friday night he starts asking the world. Its easily done.

First things first he will need to decide if its Best Man or Best Men - these days Bromance means that he may well not be able to narrow it down. Be assured that it does work and the pressure is off a little for the men when they are sharing the duties. I have seen it where they have been torn between their oldest friend and a work friend - whom they see every day. It does work, I promise. Speeches can be split and I am sure they would be more than happy to work together.

Do you need Ushers? If so who will they be? Are there any Brothers between you? Any Nephews who could take on the challenge? Or maybe a couple of friends. Ushers are important if you have a lot of guests so that there is some element of control when guests arrive.

One thing to bear in mind is that these people will be with your other half the night before or at least the morning of the wedding. There should be someone amongst the men that is organised, punctual and a calming influence across the brood.

In comparison to the Bridesmaids, the Ushers and Best Man/Men pose very little cost. After all its the suit if you are hiring or ties if they are using their own and a buttonhole. There is no bag, shoes, hair accessories.

You don't need to have equal number of Bridesmaids to Ushers in my opinion - that goes against choosing people because you want them and more to make it an even number.

Your husband should feel that he has chosen his men ultimately. This is equally as much of an honour as being chosen as a Bridesmaid.

Hope today's pearls of wisdom offer some help.

Love Katie x

The Maids Edition: Keeping those maids under control!

We can all vouch for what women are like. We can get out of control, we can be dramatic and we can be highly opinionated. Yes that's right, we can be class A Bitches (Sorry).

When it comes to your Bridesmaids it is important that all is well across the group. Depending on who you have chosen and how well you get on with them individually and they in turn with the rest of the group you may need some bonding sessions and also ground rules.

You know by now that where possible I like to share my experience and also now my personal journey through my Bride Eyes. This is something whereby, despite it being the best time of your life, add in the stress of all you have to do in general for work, home etc plus then all the wedding commitments. To be blunt, you could really do without having Bridesmaid drama.

From my own experience I have to say my Bridesmaids were amazing. However, things come up in day to day life that mean unfortunately your wedding is not the world to them. It is of course to you. My Sister and Mum lived and breathed every day for a whole year my wedding. It was all we talked about. I sometimes got a bit cross when they didn't come back to me on certain things - a bit Bridezilla I know!

So what do you do?

I would say where possible and if appropriate get everyone together for coffee and cake or cocktails and nibbles. This allows one night dedicated to getting things sorted. Mine came from different walks in my life so they really didn't know each other and they are playing a huge part in the biggest day of your life - they need to all feel equal and important.

Give the "Head of Bridesmaids" the task of planning your hen party or bridal shower - they will all be involved and step up to the plate. She can delegate out allowing you to focus on other things.

Set up Wedding Dates with them so you can spend quality time together. Its not practical to get everyone together all the time and I am sure they would love it.

I would try to find a balance between remembering that the wedding isn't their every thought but also that they do have a job to do. The do have a commitment to you, one you expect them to uphold. Make sure that between you, realistic tasks are taken on by that person - this will in turn prevent any upset from either side.

Overall I am sure all will be wonderful!

Do you have any advice to add? I would love to hear from you; email blissweddings@outlook.com

Love Katie x

The Planning Edition: Compiling your Guest List

Hello and welcome to another post in the Planning Edition section of the blog. I wanted to share with you today my pearls of wisdom from a Wedding Planner's and also a Bride's perspective. Having experienced both sides of the coin now it seems that the guest list is easier said than done. But I had to practise what I preached for 4 years.


How did I do it?

Well I used a methodical approach and stuck to my guns. Here is exactly how I did it.

What you will need: 2 pieces of paper and a pen :-) You will also need your other half.

Day Guests:

Use a piece of paper for each of you, separated into two columns named family and friends.

The family column write a list of everyone in families so aunties and uncles and then their children etc. Try to keep them coupled together this will make it easier in the culling process (harsh but honest).

Friends write down as couples if applicable, children also. Repeat for your other half.


Evening Guests:

Make 2 lists again using the format above of evening guests - including friends, work colleagues, family.

Normally you don't invite additional children to the evening - but that is up to you.


What's next?

Depending on your numbers you will either be pleasantly surprised that you know so many people or are having a heart attack. OR you may find that its a manageable amount that falls in budget.

So you need to do a quick costing of price per head against the package you have selected at your venue and what it is for overflow when you go beyond a certain amount.

You then need to double check the ceremony capacity and reception capacity for a sit down meal (or similar alternative depending on your choice). You do after all need to make sure they fit.

How does that look price wise? Are you over budget or under budget?


To many heads?

Well if there are way too many heads then you need to look at the culling process. You need to go through (cue highlighter) and put a strike through people that you could if push come to shove that you could maybe just invite to the evening. This is an initial cull and will remain top secret so don't feel guilty. This should be done from the perspective of you and how you all feel about it. You don't need to factor in other things at this stage. Simply because it is not the final cut. You need to ensure that you don't get influenced just yet.

How does the initial cull look? Did you manage to get it down enough to fit within your budget.

Add those 'cull' people to the evening - how does that list look?


To few heads?

If you have a package price and are falling below it remember that you will still need to pay for the initial package. Perhaps you have missed someone off that you didn't think of on your first draft. Do you have a single friend that could invite a plus one? Have you got friends of the family that have watched you grow up over the years.


So how does this sit now? Manageable I hope or at the very least it has been a help to get you on your way. The single most important piece of advice from me is always always limit who you have these kinds of conversations with - you will be surprised at how easily swayed you can be and trust me it is not just you. You will learn to plot these things in silence and share with a select few.

Do you have anything to add? We would love to hear how you faired. Drop me an email blissweddings@outlook.com

Love Katie x

The Maids Edition: Choosing the right dresses for your Bridesmaids

Choosing your Bridesmaid dresses is no mean feat. There are a few things that you need to bear in mind when making your shortlist. The easiest thing to do is to take it step by step as I see it. So here we go.

Firstly we need to start with some questions - grab a pen and paper and make some notes as you go. Draw a table and make columns for each Bridesmaid and fill in the answers. Beware : Honesty required.

Age
Hair Colour
Skin Tone
Body Shape
Height (Petite, Regular, Tall)

You could give consideration to what colour they like wearing or what really suits them.

Lastly - are they particularly self conscious about a particular part of their body. This could be anything from their arms to a birth mark. You should know them well enough to be able to answer this.

The trick is not to give them what they want BUT to try and find a colour, cut and style which can be tailored to suit them all.

For my Wedding I had 2 blonde, 3 brunette and a red head. 2 were younger so they had different dresses to the adults. I chose floor length because I have never been a Bridesmaid and I always wanted to walk down the aisle and swish my dress and then scoop it up when outside (I didn't say I wasn't weird!). One of my bridesmaids had a baby a couple of years ago and she felt self conscious about her tummy, one was big busted so she wanted her dress to flatter her and not draw too much attention. I chose dresses from Monsoon and at first I took my Chief Bridesmaid (my sister) and my mum along. She loved it and it was the go ahead I needed. I showed the others the dresses online and then went with them to the store to try them on. I really wanted to make sure they liked them and whilst I would go with the majority, I didn't want to upset them.



What would I recommend?

I would certainly recommend you taking your chief bridesmaid / maid of honour with you to show her the shortlist of dresses. Be it high street or from a boutique you can adjust dresses accordingly but you need another opinion. You should also delicately go through the list you create above.

I would go in with as much time as possible. It could well be that the dresses are only available part of the year (high street moreso) and once they have all tried on get them ordered / bought! I very nearly lost out with mine.

You should look after the dresses for safe keeping - it could well be they would like to loose a few pounds for your wedding so they should keep trying it on so they feel comfortable.

A couple of months before encourage them to start underwear shopping - this can take longer than you think. Take the dress with you so you can double check it is the right purchase.

If in doubt make them get the bigger size! Accept nothing less. Its better for it to fit there and then than for them to promise they will fit into on the day. You can always get it taken in.


Lastly, remember that you don't have to get them to all wear the same dress. There are many companies which do the same colours with different necklines, straps, lengths so whatever you do - do NOT panic.


I would love to hear your thoughts on this - please get in touch blissweddings@outlook.com

Love Katie x

The Maids Edition Part 1 : Choosing your Bridesmaids

I am not sure about you but when I was little I used to dream about my wedding day. When I got older me and my friends used to make pinky promises that we would all stay friends forever and be each others Bridesmaids.



When you grow up and realise that per Bridesmaid there is an overwhelming cost with honouring each and every one of those promises.

What I am going to do is tackle each of the things which I feel you need to consider when choosing your bridesmaids but before I do that I am going to terrify you with what comes with each Bridesmaid

Dresses
Shoes, bag, hair accessories, jewellery
Bouquet
On the day hair and make-up
Thank you gift

Just having the one now are we? I'm kidding.


I personally had my sister as Chief Bridesmaid, 2 friends, 2 younger bridesmaids (15 and 11) and a flower girl (3). So yes I can speak from experience and say that it is one expensive affair with 6 in total. But its not even just the cost.

Here are my brood:

You need to ensure the people that you chose are for the right reasons - don't ask someone because you were their Bridesmaid or because of those pinky promises.

Consider the relationships you have with your shortlisted Bridesmaids - who could you totally depend on and who do you really believe deserve the honour.

Think about those on your partners side - it would be a nice touch to include them too.

Think about your overall guest list - you don't want a football team when you have a small guest list.

Do you have an adorable little girl that could be your flower girl?


Do you have your list now? The important thing to remember is to stick to your guns once you have made your decision. From the moment you get married there will be quite a few people lined up ready with their acceptance speech and their shocked faces. But you can't have them all and if you asked everyone their role wouldn't be as important to you.

Until next time

Love Katie x