The Planning Edition: Should I Invite Children to our Wedding?

Over my time as a wedding planner I have been frequently asked should I invite children to me wedding?
Unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer to this.

Here is how I suggest that you make a list - this list requires an open mind, honesty and compromise.

The first thing to do is to determine how many children and the ages they will be on your wedding day.

The next bit sounds harsh and you probably won't find this in many other peoples lists. How well behaved are they? Be honest between you both- it needs to go no further than this list.

Then make two guest lists - one with children and one without. See the difference. How significant is that number?

Who are the children - are they family / friends? Are they more on one side than another?

Do you have children yourself? Can you limit the children you invite to just family?

If there are a large number of young children then you may need to consider hiring some childminders or some form of entertainment. Which of course not only adds the cost of catering but also entertainment.

If there are a large number of babies then this will not impact your budget to heavily as they don't require food.

Is your reception safe for children to play? You would need to make all parents aware of things list stairs, water, roads, breakables and the like.

If you have a lot of children then you need to factor in their eating times - children need to eat often and earlier than us - can you make this work.

How do you think the parents would feel about you not inviting their children, would they have someone who could mind their children whilst they are at your wedding? Is your wedding close by so they could run home if needed? Consider each set of parents individually - see what your predictions are.

Then here comes the maths - work out the number of children and their cost - factor in their ages. Do some research as to child minders / creche / children entertainment and factor that in. Make two budget lists - with and without children.

This should now be forming a pattern and be drawing up an accurate costing - does this help you make your decision?

If you are still incredibly torn then the only other suggestion I have is to speak to a parent that you feel will listen to your concerns and see what their opinion is.

The people who tend to ask are those who don't have children themselves - as you would expect. So the question from their perspective is more like "how do I tell people their children are not invited"

There is no set line that I would recommend using. I would suggest staying firm and not making exceptions - you both need to be on the same page with this. If you ever feel like giving in then it will impact your budget and also it could cause great upset on the day when some are there and others aren't.


A huge factor to remember is that its your money and it is incredibly expensive to get married these days.
Most people will also be hugely grateful to be a part of your special day so will be over the moon at the invitation. Plus - who knows, some parents may even be grateful of the day off to enjoy themselves.

I hope this is helpful to you - let me know how you get on blissweddings@outlook.com

Love Katie. x

The Planning Edition : How to have a stress free Wedding Morning

This is something which in principal sounds completely do-able not to mention amazing. But this i am afraid is easier said than done.

During my days as a Wedding Planner I have seen first hand the full spectrum of wedding mornings. From the calm and quiet to the frantic and crazy. I can now also draw on my own experience so let me tell you my story first of all.

My Wedding Morning

I had a rather late night with falling asleep in exhaustion on the floor beside my dress in my parents living room. After I went to bed at around 2am, I woke at 7.20 ran downstairs and shed my first tears of the day with my Mum- I literally couldn't believe it was finally here and the tears I think were of relief that it was upon me. I had waited ten years for this day. A quick shower later and a brew in hand the team of hair and make-up artists arrived at 8am and got straight to work on my hair.

Admittedly, there was a lot going on at my mum's house - by 9am there was Me, my Sister, my Parents, the two hair and make-up people, two bridesmaids. By 10am there were flower deliveries, phone calls from my mum to the Groom checking he is ok (and awake), by 11am there were 2 other bridesmaids and my auntie, plus our photographer. I didn't want anyone to see my dress really so I had to keep them out of the living room!

Despite all these people I did feel calm, the house had a lovely buzz to it and it was just how I always thought it would be. I think if it wasn't like this I would have had too many tears and I didn't want that.
We did have a slight situation shall we say when one of my Bridesmaids dresses split down the side. Luckily there was enough people to fix it but it did have a knock on effect as I was late getting in my dress and then late for church - whooops.

I totally enjoyed my last few hours as well, me; the person who I had always been. I felt like I was going through a transition and although that scared me a little - that I wouldn't be the same as my parents anymore; I was completely ready to become the new me.

So my advice for a stress-free wedding morning...

The Night Before

Try to unwind as much as possible, have a night in watching a movie with a glass of wine, have a nice bath, have a girly sleepover or simply read a good book.

Go to bed at a decent hour. It could go one of two ways you trying to get to sleep, you could be so tired from the build up that you are out like a light OR you could close your eyes and say to yourself "Guess what, I am getting married in the morning" and be awake tormenting yourself all night.

Lay everything out in the night before - this is so that you can find out if you have misplaced something whilst you have time to rectify it.



The Morning

Really think about who and what should arrive when - not only should you have all of these things sorted in advance you really do need to keep things staggered so its not all happening at once. This is where your timeline is very important - everyone should know where they should be and what they should be doing.

There is nothing wrong in being military - no matter how early or late your ceremony is.

Breakfast - it is so important to eat in the morning, no matter how nervous you feel. If you think that you won't get chance to eat or drink anything until your wedding breakfast that is a long long time. Adrenalin will only get you so far!

Bubbles - don't get carried away! No-one wants a tipsy bride, least of all the officiant as they don't have to marry you. Plus you don't want to keep needing the toilet and having to navigate your dress.

Look in the mirror and admire yourself - appreciate the hard work that you have put in to today, creating your look and style, look at your gorgeous dress! You have waited for this moment- enjoy it.

Take a few minutes to compose yourself before you leave for the service. These are your final moments as "you" before you embark on one of the biggest moments of your life. Its the start of your happy ever after - take a deep breath and lets get married!


Hopefully you enjoyed today's post and found it useful.

Love
Katie. x

The Planning Edition: Choosing your Groomsmen

For the large part this is your soon to be husbands job; however you need to get this outlined before after a few beers on a Friday night he starts asking the world. Its easily done.

First things first he will need to decide if its Best Man or Best Men - these days Bromance means that he may well not be able to narrow it down. Be assured that it does work and the pressure is off a little for the men when they are sharing the duties. I have seen it where they have been torn between their oldest friend and a work friend - whom they see every day. It does work, I promise. Speeches can be split and I am sure they would be more than happy to work together.

Do you need Ushers? If so who will they be? Are there any Brothers between you? Any Nephews who could take on the challenge? Or maybe a couple of friends. Ushers are important if you have a lot of guests so that there is some element of control when guests arrive.

One thing to bear in mind is that these people will be with your other half the night before or at least the morning of the wedding. There should be someone amongst the men that is organised, punctual and a calming influence across the brood.

In comparison to the Bridesmaids, the Ushers and Best Man/Men pose very little cost. After all its the suit if you are hiring or ties if they are using their own and a buttonhole. There is no bag, shoes, hair accessories.

You don't need to have equal number of Bridesmaids to Ushers in my opinion - that goes against choosing people because you want them and more to make it an even number.

Your husband should feel that he has chosen his men ultimately. This is equally as much of an honour as being chosen as a Bridesmaid.

Hope today's pearls of wisdom offer some help.

Love Katie x

The Planning Edition: Compiling your Guest List

Hello and welcome to another post in the Planning Edition section of the blog. I wanted to share with you today my pearls of wisdom from a Wedding Planner's and also a Bride's perspective. Having experienced both sides of the coin now it seems that the guest list is easier said than done. But I had to practise what I preached for 4 years.


How did I do it?

Well I used a methodical approach and stuck to my guns. Here is exactly how I did it.

What you will need: 2 pieces of paper and a pen :-) You will also need your other half.

Day Guests:

Use a piece of paper for each of you, separated into two columns named family and friends.

The family column write a list of everyone in families so aunties and uncles and then their children etc. Try to keep them coupled together this will make it easier in the culling process (harsh but honest).

Friends write down as couples if applicable, children also. Repeat for your other half.


Evening Guests:

Make 2 lists again using the format above of evening guests - including friends, work colleagues, family.

Normally you don't invite additional children to the evening - but that is up to you.


What's next?

Depending on your numbers you will either be pleasantly surprised that you know so many people or are having a heart attack. OR you may find that its a manageable amount that falls in budget.

So you need to do a quick costing of price per head against the package you have selected at your venue and what it is for overflow when you go beyond a certain amount.

You then need to double check the ceremony capacity and reception capacity for a sit down meal (or similar alternative depending on your choice). You do after all need to make sure they fit.

How does that look price wise? Are you over budget or under budget?


To many heads?

Well if there are way too many heads then you need to look at the culling process. You need to go through (cue highlighter) and put a strike through people that you could if push come to shove that you could maybe just invite to the evening. This is an initial cull and will remain top secret so don't feel guilty. This should be done from the perspective of you and how you all feel about it. You don't need to factor in other things at this stage. Simply because it is not the final cut. You need to ensure that you don't get influenced just yet.

How does the initial cull look? Did you manage to get it down enough to fit within your budget.

Add those 'cull' people to the evening - how does that list look?


To few heads?

If you have a package price and are falling below it remember that you will still need to pay for the initial package. Perhaps you have missed someone off that you didn't think of on your first draft. Do you have a single friend that could invite a plus one? Have you got friends of the family that have watched you grow up over the years.


So how does this sit now? Manageable I hope or at the very least it has been a help to get you on your way. The single most important piece of advice from me is always always limit who you have these kinds of conversations with - you will be surprised at how easily swayed you can be and trust me it is not just you. You will learn to plot these things in silence and share with a select few.

Do you have anything to add? We would love to hear how you faired. Drop me an email blissweddings@outlook.com

Love Katie x

The Planning Edition: Should I Invite Children to our Wedding?

Over my time as a wedding planner I have been frequently asked should I invite children to our wedding?
Unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer to this.

Here is my take on how you should make your decision. I suggest that you make a list - this list requires an open mind, honesty and compromise.




The first thing to do is to determine how many children and the ages they will be on your wedding day.

The next bit sounds harsh and you probably won't find this in many other peoples lists. How well behaved are they? Be honest between you both- it needs to go no further than this list.

Then make two guest lists - one with children and one without. See the difference. How significant is that number?

Who are the children - are they family / friends? Are they more on one side than another?

Do you have children yourself? Can you limit the children you invite to just family?